Those terrifying exams I've been studying for like crazy, started today.
And after 4 days without any vitamin D, hidden in the frozen tundra that has become my room for this past few weeks, I finally have about 24 hours to rest... Only before studying for spanish of course, but nobody needs to bring that negativity into the conversation right now.
I came back home after five hours of analyzing an archaic theather play in German, just to eat and turn my brain off with a good movie.
I got to my room, took a dive under my sheets and turned on netflix in the search of some good old Chick-flick for relaxing purpouses, and in the swarm of titles, I found one that caught my attention called "Ely & Naomi's No Kissing List"
I basically thought that I was in for some dummie teenage drama, but as a matter of fact I ended up having a realization and crying myself into this beautiful blog.
Story short, the movie is about a pair of boy & girl besties (he is gay tough) who have lived as next-door-neighbors in the same building their entire life.
They have the most enviable bond, know each other like the back of their own hand, go to Magnolia Bakery together, have a secret room for them to chit chat about everything, etc etc. They basically root for each other and stick with each other through thick and thin and have even plan their future wedding, which of course will never be... Because both of them bat for the same team, even if Naomi refuses to believe it.
Thing is, they are too close. And have this moments where one gets friend-jealousies over the other's tentative plus one or gets angry because their schedules no longer match because of University, dates and well.. Life in general.
They get into a huge fight about it, but in the end return to being good Friends realizing, that they are just where they need to be.
I'm not even gonna bother to cover the fact that I felt kind of jealouse of their relationship, 'cause every girl need a standfort, right?
But on the other hand it finally dawned on me the fact that this fantasy of the "Squad" or the group of frieds you have at certain stages of your life is actually just that... A stage. A fantasy.
I once read a quote that really stuck to my mind which said, that if you are not losing friends, you are not growing up. And that's true, isn't it?
There are people who become really important at certain stages of your life, but will at some point maybe not leave you, but follow their own path.
I feel like sometimes the heart needs a little more time to accept what the brain already knows. And now I know.
I know and hope that my friends will remain my friends for a long long time. I'd like to believe the fantasy in which I get to invite them to my wedding and years after that our kids meet and become friends (ok, I got a little carried away here) it's true. But thinking a little less ahead, I'd like to think they'll be there rooting for me when I'm applying to Collegue, or I'll be there for them planning their proposals to their girlfriends and so on.. But every single one of this acts are steps in new paths not everyone will follow.
Each one of us will eventually start a new life, a new relationship or a new friendship where the others will not jump into, not because they don't want to, but because it's just not their place.
I hope that after an inevitable separation, we meet again and like people who once meant a lot to each other ...
"comes a fine recapitulation of the past where they remember only the best, forgetting it was picked out from a time of ordinaries, forgetting that the ordinariness was pleasant but now a beautiful memory.." -F. Scott Fitzgerald.To all my beautiful friends...
I love you, and I know we still have a few months ahead of us, but it might be time, for me at least, to finally come at peace with the fact that we are... Growing up.