Every Cool Girl is Half a Boy

12:45 PM Unknown 0 Comments

When I first saw this quote (now title of this post) on Insta I screenshotted it in a heartbeat as I’ve always identified myself with being a bit ‘boy-ish’.FYI: I also think I’m cool af...JK hahah            However, truth be told, I've always felt that the cooler side of me always matches the more manly aspects of my personality.               
But hold it, what on earth does that mean?                                                                                                      
I mean, we just can’t say that one sex is the master of the coolness right?
The topic has been circling my head for months now. For that same reason I decided to start from the beginning
*Smart, right?*
I’ve never even doubted myself in this matter, but in the sake of a well done research I started with a simple inquiry:
What is gender?
Gender refers to the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).

So yeah, I asked myself that question and in a second came to the conclusion that I’m Cysgender; which basically means that I identify as a girl, while biologically being a girl who as a girl likes boys.  
Still, growing up I generally surrounded myself with members of the opposite sex in the form of friends.
I’ve always find it easier to hang out with them. And even though I have always had a really close circle of girls by my side, the majority of my friends have always been boys, which has always made me feel a bit tomboy-ish.
It’s not like I’m not girly, because believe me… I am.
But there’s a complexity to it. I somehow feel stronger.                 

I’m not in props of cultural and social stereotypes.                           
Quite the contrary; I’m a firm believer that you don’t have to like pink to be a girl. Case in point I f*ing hated the color when I was little. 
Yes, I had every single Barbie there was in the market, but I never wore a tutu. I loved horseback riding instead, my favourite colour was bright-lemon-green and even though I hated playing football, I always preferred to play to be a spy much more than the mom or big sister in the family.         
It was simply much more interesting, dynamic and fun, but is was predominantly male as well. 

Boys have certain attitudes that are appealing, not only because I find them attractive in a man, but because I try or in some cases can’t but would love to adopt.
For example, well dress men carry with them an allure of superiority very few can equal.

A man with confidence walks as if the world was his. If a man is a frequent guest in a restaurant, the captain will always greet him with great respect and will try to have things ready to please him once he arrives. Even if a girl goes to the same place to brunch every day, people will happily greet her and treat her right but she won't receive the same treatment.

There is a weird paradox at play — an undercurrent superiority that is in ways uncomfortable to admit because it must therefore assume that the female gender is inferior, right?

But there’s something to it. We’ve been raised with this cultural believes even if we consider ourselves feminists.
I’m great at being ‘feminine’ and I know it.  I absolutely love and enjoy wearing make-up. I never leave the house without earring and a purse.  But I think that wearing a tux to a red carpet is a MAJOR STATEMENT and one of my dream outfits. 
There’s something to being a woman who drinks dry martinis instead of cosmos.                                                                           There’s something rebel in a woman smoking a cigar and drinking whiskey neat.
In many ways, I even think that femme fatales are much more masculine than a normal woman. They have this sense of empowerment, fieriness and seductiveness based on an embraced and unapologetic sexuality we mostly see in rockstars, rappers, playboys and old school movie lead actors.
*I MEAN, what’s up with Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable…              Am I right?*
As much as I’d like one of those to swept me of my feet, I kind of like their suits and hats as well.
Even though I don’t identify as a boy just because of these behaviours. There’s a part of me that feels really comfortable and would actually like to be much more like them.
Most of my friends say that I literally do a runway walk every where I go. But as much as I’d love me some Cindy or Linda, my walk is more of a Naomi-horselike-grandstep-open shoulder-men-like- strut.
*I dare you to read that out loud 3 times*
In the end, all I’m trying to say it’s not that you have to be a boy to be cool, you don’t have to feel, act or think like one either. But presenting a little gender dysphoria ain’t bad either.                                     In the end, your personality is built on the thinks you love; so if it turn out that wearing a suit makes you’re happier than wearing a dress…. YOU DO YOU BABE!
If there’s something I’ve learned in the past few months is that the world is not as black and white as we’ would like it to be.
It doesn't matter if we are taking feelings, clothes, accesories, friendships or sexuality into account.

But that’s alright, because it gives us a great margin of grey to experiment… And If I’m correct the main goal in life, is to live.       So do it. 
Roberta Woodworth

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