Old School

I've been thinking a lot lately, about who I want to love, and how I want to love and why I want to love the way I want to love, what I need to learn to love that way and who I need to be to give that kind of love.
Because I don't like what I see around me.
I don't like relationships today.
I don't like the mistrust, the lack of commitment, the lack of communication and the settlement.
I see a lot of people wondering if their supposed "other half" really likes them because they don't say it. They don't communicate.
I see them getting too jealous of nervous because they don't trust them because their "love" for each other doesn't seem to be a sure thing.
I hate when they talk about their relationships as if they would end at any given moment, as if they had no future, because "it's not like we are getting married"
 Yeah, maybe you are not, but why are you a part of something you think is doomed? What's the purpose then? Are you in love? Or are you just to afraid to be alone?

And, what about flirting with someone else or cheating?

If you are looking for things outside of your relationship, if there's a lack of spark in any way.
As little as it may seem, It still means that you are not getting everything you want.
And if you are not getting everything you want from being with someone.
 If you are looking for that spark elsewhere.... Well then, let me tell you, that you are settlling.
And that's sad, really really sad.
Because from all the many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them.
And so I wonder, do they still fall in love or has that gone out of fashion?
Like the 50's and the radio and conversations that meant something before social media killed us.

How do they do it, the ones who make love without love?

I'm a romantic I know, but once I break all this thoughts down, the answer essentially comes out like this: I want to try with someone who loves me enough to try with me. I want to watch movies with the same person with whom I visit a museum with and grab breakfast, lunch and dinner . A person with whom I can run errands, go to the supermarket, dance at the club, cry , laugh, flirt  and kiss.
That's what I want. I want to be somebody's favourite person. The place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every smile, every memory.
Because I think that the sign of a true soulmate isn't someone you just want to do super cool stuff with. A real soulmate is the person who makes any ordinary day fun. And I want to be that person. I want to be someone's person. Someone's forever. Even if that forever lasts a second. I want to be certain that there was nothing else to give, that we engaged in that adventure and gave everything we had.
That's the kind of love I want to have and receive.