Shine baby girl, Shine!

11:26 PM Roberta W. P. F 0 Comments



There are two ways you can relate to this story.
You may be the perpetrator or you may be the sufferer.
Either way, this is a tale searching to inspire empathy to both so you think twice before triggering such conundrum or find peace in knowing you are not alone in it.

Allow me to tell you her story and the one of many others...

She was the type of girl who knew what she wanted.
She was the type of girl who thought she had everything figured out.
She kept an agenda. She was organized, committed.
She was smart, she was stylish, she was kind.
-Or at least she thought she was-
She saw herself as someone educated.
Her parents had taught her to send thankyou notes, set a grate table, greet guests, speak her mind.
She was an avid reader and loved the classics from Fitzgerald to Orwell and García Marquez, but loved herself a little Freud and Shoppenhauer as well. 
She passionately quoted atticus and Bukowski and felt as if their words gave her a sense of understandment of the human brain, heart and soul. 
She was a hopeless romantic.
She was one of those rare birds who thought that things as simple as a kiss mattered.
She had been raised that way. She had become a woman, beliving that happy endings existed.
She yearned for a love like Casablanca. She craved ocean's depth.
She didn't care about someones wrapping, it was something to appreciate of course, but truth be told she expected to fall in love with someones brain. With their essence. 
She was empathic, sensible, vulnerable.
She was the type of girl who expected things to fall into place; who believed that people did things for a reason.
She believed in conections... but for that same reason, she was a girl who could easily get hurt.
It is hard for people like her to live in today's culture.
It is hard for a romantic to thrive in a so-called hookup culture.
She knew this. She stood against it. 
But years passed and one day it became clear to her that aside from all the things she knew she was, she was a human.
And humans make mistakes. 
Humans fell of the wagon... 
Humans let themselves go, and one day she did.
One day she let go of her stiffness. One day she thought she had found someone who understood her and after hours of conversation it happened. 
They kissed.
She went blank regarding everything she believed in.
The girl next door transmuted into someone different. 
Someone she hadn't had the chance to know before.
At first she was scared, but in the moment it felt right.
She was naive enough to think he felt the same. 
Why else would he have praised her the way he did?                                     Why would he have said all the pretty things he said?                                     Why would he have asked for her phone if he wasn't going to call?Why would he dissapear?
But without any reason, he did.
She was hurt. She felt used. 
She felt mocked.
She felt as if she had spit on the face of her principles.
She felt that even with all the knowledge in the world, the books, the style, the facts, the manners, it was obvious that she still knew nothing. 
She was nothing but a girl disguised as a woman
She felt as if she had betrayed everything she stood for and punished herself for it.
Worst of all, this was all just about a kiss... Something so simple, so mundane in today's society but that for her remained special, immaculated.
A sign of true connection she wanted to keep just for those who deserved it and now seemed completely desecrated.

However, I'm going to tell you what she did wrong.

She forgot that not one creature in this earth is or can ever achieve to be perfect. 
She forgot that the shame she felt was something people gave freely on the streets for even the stupidest reasons.
She forgot that living her life shouldn't be something that's based on what others think.
She left out the fact that 
a man is none to dictate her worth, specially if said man is nothing but an animal out for the hunt.
She must learn that she shouldn't be afraid to be a woman. 
She should not be afraid to live, to learn, to screw it up.
And most importanlty, she shouldn't be ashamed for what she did because she did no wrong. 
She simply took a calculated risk with someone she thought was worthy, but in the end was proven wrong.

It all comes down to that.
Yes she made a mistake, yes she was too naive... 
But, could we blame her? Is that so wrong?
Being vulnerable, hopeful, romantic... Should not be accounted as a flaw.
We should evaluate and be thankful for people like her who still live in this messed up world.
They just need to learn that not everyone is valuable and worth it.


Shine my baby girl, be happy, thrive... You deserve it!

Dedicated to P.P. and all the beautiful girls out there...
With love,
 Roberta Wodworth

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