Writing about things that have been circling my mind in the search for answers (#OverthinkerAlert) deep cravings, fears, love... Things mostly being set off by poetry, music or experience.
The rest we make up for ourselves.
Rather than listen, or learn, we smother them in who we imagine them to be, what we desire for ourselves. We create little fantasies of people and let them grow in our hearts.
There's exactly where the relationship fails.
But tragedies happen, and suddenly you've lost someone... And it hurts.
You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly, or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely knowm them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant, you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts on you, which is why I'm not here to tell you that tomorrow is another day and the sun will go on shining or that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
What I will tell you is this; it's okay to be hurting as much as you are.
What you are feeling may not be completely valid nor fair but necessary, because it makes you so much more human.
For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need, and pay attention to the small details of people. You'll learn soon enough that the universe is far more spectacular an author than we could ever hope to be. So be patient and try to see people for who they are. The one will look just crystal clear and won't need anything from your precious imagination.